By Diana Holbourn
Becky Has More Discussions and Fun Before Leaving University, and Then Joins a National Radio Station to Tell Stories on a Psychology Programme
Book six of the online Becky Bexley series. Chapter 3.
This series accompanies the books about what Becky does at university and afterwards, which you can find out more about on my author website. (The online series is in draft form.)
When the students finished their exams, they hung around the university for a few weeks till they got their results. The weather was lovely and sunny, and a lot of them sunbathed outside on the grass and chatted. They enjoyed themselves most of the time, and were relieved their exams were over and they had time to relax.
But one day when Becky was with a small group of students lounging around in the sun, one of them, a history student, gloomily complained, "I think revising must be bad for your health! I think it's messed up my sleep patterns! I stayed up all night on quite a few nights to revise, but now I'm finding I keep dropping off to sleep during the day, when I'd prefer to be going outside and enjoying the sunshine!
"And I'm finding it hard to get up in the mornings, but it's a shame, because I know the sun's out there, and it would be nice to be out there enjoying it while it's actually around! I don't suppose it'll be too long till the weather changes!
"And then at night, I can't get to sleep for ages! Every night I get annoyed about it, because I know it means the next day I'm going to drop off to sleep when I'd prefer to be out in the sunshine again!
"And then I start worrying about whether I'll get a job if it carries on, since I don't suppose anyone wants to employ someone who keeps falling asleep on the job! And then I often start worrying about whether I've even passed my exams! It would be annoying to have gone through all that slog and had my sleep patterns all messed up, only to find out I've failed!"
One of his friends teased him, "Come on grumpy guts! I bet you wouldn't be feeling so down if your sleep patterns had got messed up after a good round of partying!"
One student said, "Oh, to do another round of partying! Hey, wouldn't it be good if we had a partying exam, and the revision was to go to lots of parties just to make sure we remembered what parties were like!"
They all laughed.
The student who'd been complaining grinned, but then said, "Yeah, that would have been good! But now I've messed up my sleep patterns, I'm just worrying they'll never get fixed. It won't be that long till I'm expected to go out and get a job!"
Becky said, "Don't worry about it too much; if your sleep patterns were going to get messed up, this is the best time of year for it to happen; I've read that people's body clocks reset themselves every morning by the light of the sun or morning daylight. It makes it difficult when there isn't much sun about, which I suppose is most of the year in this country! But since we're getting the most we're going to have this year around now, it'll be easier for your body to get back into a decent rhythm; if you discipline yourself to make the effort to crawl out of bed and get up early, and then go out in the sun early in the morning for quite a while, hopefully it won't be long before you're waking up and sleeping at convenient times again. If it takes a few weeks, it won't really matter, will it; it's not as if you're being made to rush out and get a job tomorrow; so don't worry about it.
"Trying to get up early's helpful anyway, even when there isn't any sun, since if you get up late, your body might want to stay up for the same number of hours it normally does, so that'll mean you won't get sleepy till later at night than you would have done, and then it can start off a bad cycle where that means you won't want to wake up properly till later the next day, so you get tired later the next night, and so on.
"Maybe you could try finding somewhere outside in the sun to eat your breakfast, or eat it near a window indoors where the sun's streaming in if you can.
"If your body clock goes completely the opposite way and you actually start waking up too early and wanting to go to bed early, you could try getting as much evening sun as you can in the hope you actually start getting to sleep later, so if you get the same number of hours of sleep as normal, you'll wake up at a normal time, hopefully. But that probably won't happen!
"Some psychologists think sunlight gives people more energy, so sometimes sitting in it when you don't feel very alert might help too. So if you feel really groggy when you get up in the morning, you might start feeling allright again quite quickly if you go and sit in the sun soon afterwards."
One student joked, "Maybe you could get someone to push your bed outside into the sunshine every morning! Just make sure you keep covered up, so no one has to look at your ugly pyjamas!"
Becky laughed and said, "Hopefully he won't have to resort to anything That drastic! Maybe if he just tells his brain it's important he gets up early in the morning before he goes to sleep at night, it will oblige and wake him up, ... though hopefully it won't wake him up a couple of hours before the sun even comes up!"
Then she said to the student with the sleep problem, "Anyway, try not to worry about anything when you go to bed. people who worry about their sleep are more likely to end up with insomnia that doesn't seem to want to go away, because worrying at night makes the body more alert, and releases stress hormones that increase the heartbeat and do other things that make it harder to get to sleep. So people can be worrying and worrying about not being able to get to sleep, when it's mostly their worry that's keeping them awake.
"And then if their brain starts to associate bedtime with worry because they've done so much worrying at night in bed that every time they think of bedtime it reminds them of their worries, they'll automatically think of bedtime as stressful, so before they even start to worry, they'll feel stressed and their brains will release stress hormones that'll make it harder for them to get to sleep.
"You don't need to worry if you can't sleep well at night for the next few weeks; you could use the time awake in bed to plan things to do in your future or things like that. It's very common for people to have trouble sleeping for a few weeks when something stressful's happened; but it's a lot less likely to turn into long-term insomnia if you don't let staying awake for longer than usual at night bother you, since then you can relax more, so sleep is more likely to come.
"And the problem you might be most likely to have if you don't sleep well for a while is being in a bad mood the next day; but bad moods after nights where people didn't get much sleep are partly to do with their thoughts and feelings about how much it bothered them; so if you don't let it bother you, you probably won't feel so bad. You might feel a bit light-headed and shaky, but as long as you're getting at least some hours of sleep at night, it probably won't be too bad. Anyway, if you're in a bad mood, the sunshine might cheer you up a bit."
One student grinned and said, "Yeah, and if the sunshine doesn't cheer you up, maybe you could just get more of it. Hey, wouldn't it be good if you could make a paper aeroplane, and if you didn't think the sunshine was cheering you up enough, you could hurl it into the sky, and when it came down, it would have more sunshine on it so you could have an extra dose!"
The students chuckled, and one said, "If it went up that high, I think it would have to be made of something more fireproof than paper; and you'd have to have very, very, very, very strong arms to fling it that high in the first place!"
They laughed.
Then one said, "Hey imagine if it got stuck in a tree on the way down, and you climbed up the tree to get it down, and someone who didn't know you could get extra doses of sunshine by flinging model aeroplanes into the sky came along and asked you what you were doing, and you said, 'I Must get my sunshine! It won't be long till I reach it!' They'd think you were nuts, wouldn't they! They'd think you thought you could climb right up to the sun by climbing a tree!"
They laughed again.
Then Becky said seriously to the student who had sleep problems, "You know, you're luckier than people who have to go into boring jobs every day, because it might be harder to stay awake then; but since you've got free time now, it might help you if you do quite a bit of walking in the sunshine and chatting to other people during the day, and other things that'll keep your mind and body active and give you a bit of an adrenaline boost, if you can think of some, since that'll make it less likely you'll fall asleep. It might be best not to do exercise that wears you out, since then you might fall asleep afterwards and stay asleep for ages so you don't want to sleep so much at night; but something quite gentle but that'll still get your blood circulating round your body more than it would if you were sitting down for a long time might help to keep you awake so that'll help your body get your sleep back into its proper time.
"You could try doing more energetic exercise if you like it and see what happens. Exercise can help some people get more sleep at night; maybe it wears them out just a bit so they're more tired at the end of the day. And some psychologists think it puts people in a better mood, so they're less likely to start thinking stressful thoughts that keep them awake. But don't do vigorous exercise in the few hours before you go to bed, since that might boost your adrenaline so you feel much too alert to go to sleep at a sensible time.
"Whatever you do, don't actually Try to get to sleep, because trying to do anything involves concentration, and it can get more stressful the more you think you're failing, so trying will probably actually keep you awake! It's better to just think about something nice till you drift off naturally, if you can."
One student joked with a grin, "And if you still can't get to sleep, it might not be anything to really worry about. Maybe you can get a job working at night if you still want to sleep during the day; or maybe you could get one where you work during the day, but often secretly take naps, or find ways to pretend you're doing something else while you're asleep:
"You know, maybe you could take an office job, and then every day when you begin to feel sleepy, you could say, 'Oh no, my computer's not working very well. It's allright; I know how to fix it, but it could take a while. I'll just need to go under the desk to adjust the wires'; and then you go under the desk, and curl up and go to sleep for as long as you want.
"Or if you go into teaching, make it biology, and then every so often, you can say to the pupils, 'Now I'm going to give you a lesson on the biology of sleep; I'm going to pretend to be asleep, and I want you all to watch very carefully. I'll give you the whole lesson to observe me and make notes: I want you to observe my posture and my breathing, and monitor my heart rate very gently to see how it differs from when I'm awake.' And then let yourself drop off to sleep. If they always protest, 'But sir, we've done this lesson lots of times before!', pretend you don't believe them and you think this is the first time you're doing it. If they show you their notes from the last times, just tell them it's such an important lesson they've got to do it again.
"Or maybe you could become a circus clown, and you could always come on stage wobbling around with sleepiness, make a few jokes, and then lie down on stage and go to sleep, and the audience would all just think it was part of the act.
"Or how about getting a job in a sleep clinic? Then instead of helping other people with their sleep problems, you could say to them, 'Now, I'm going to show you how to get to sleep. Just watch me, and then you can imitate me later on.' And then let yourself fall asleep. When you wake up a few hours later, tell them you hoped it was a good lesson.
"Or maybe you could even become a surgeon. Then if you fell asleep in the middle of an operation and your head fell forward and plopped into a patient's stomach or something, when you woke up, you could just explain to the nurses and other people around you that you just needed to get up really close to them to take a better look."
The students laughed. One said while laughing, "Ugh! Don't be disgusting!"
The student who'd been having the sleep problems laughed and said, "Thank you, but I think I'd prefer to try what Becky's recommending!"
Then Becky said, "Another thing is that it's best to try to avoid things with caffeine in them during the evenings, since the caffeine might well stay in your system long enough to keep you awake at night.
"And it's best not to watch television or read in bed too, since you might be doing those things because you hope they'll relax you so it'll be easier to sleep, but if you get interested and absorbed in what you're watching or reading, you'll get more alert, so it'll be harder to get to sleep.
"Also, you might not like this, but it can be best to avoid alcohol before you go to bed, since although it might help you get to sleep, it can make people sleep more restlessly because of the effort the body has to make to break it down; people sometimes don't sleep as deeply, and they can wake up at stupid times in the early morning; and if you sleep restlessly, you might be more likely to sleep during the day the next day, because your body will want to make up for the sleep it lost."
The students were surprised and dismayed to hear that alcohol can disturb sleep. But then one joked, "Alternatively you could drink loads and loads more, not just at night but all day too; and then you'll just stop caring about whether you're flopping off to sleep all over the place during the day."
The student with the sleep problem grinned and said, "Yes, but it would also ruin my life, and I wouldn't want that!"
He thanked Becky for her advice and said he'd try what she'd suggested.
Then another student, Graham, said, "My mum's had problems with insomnia. I'll tell her what you've said, Becky, ... if I can remember it all. She's been on sleeping pills for ages, but they don't work well any more. She thinks she's addicted to them now, because whenever she's tried to come off them, she's always felt agitated and she can't sleep at all, so she's always gone back on them again. She does wish she could come off them now though."
Becky said, "She might be able to come off them with no problems if she tries to come off them gradually, just cutting down the number she takes a bit at first, and maybe not every night of the week, just some nights. That way, her body will get used to having fewer and fewer, which will be easier for it than if it had to suddenly get used to having none. Then she could slowly increase the number of nights she has fewer pills, and slowly reduce the number of pills she's taking even more, maybe eventually cutting one in half and having half one night and half the next, till eventually she tries going a night without any. Then she can increase the number of nights per week she doesn't have any, till she's not having any at all.
"And if she does experience anything that might be a withdrawal effect from the pills, like particularly bad insomnia, she can at least comfort herself that it won't last long; it'll hopefully have gone in a couple of weeks.
"And if she's worried about not being at her best the day after she's gone to bed without taking sleeping pills, actually, since some sleeping pills take a long time to wear off, people taking them can feel drowsy the next day, so they perform badly at things anyway.
"It might be good if she tells a few friends that she's trying to gradually come off sleeping pills, since if they're pleased every time she reduces the amount she takes successfully, it'll encourage her to keep going. And if she tries to do too much in one go and has a bad night, she might be encouraged if they sympathise with her and support her in her efforts to carry on trying.
"The best night to start cutting down her dose would be a night where she's pretty sure she won't be that busy and won't have anything to do that requires a lot of brain power or physical effort the next day, so if it takes her longer to get to sleep or she feels unusually tired the next day, she'll be less likely to start worrying and worrying that she'll be worse off if she carries on trying to get off them.
"It'll probably be best if she waits till she's happy on one reduced dose of sleeping pills before she reduces it some more; if she goes at a pace that feels comfortable to her, it won't stress her out so much. It'll be allright if it takes weeks before she feels ready to reduce it some more. But it might not take anywhere near that long.
"It might be easier sometimes than other times. But she doesn't have to worry; if she goes at her own pace, she'll almost certainly get there in the end. Maybe she could start by just taking half her normal dose on one night in the week, taking them as normal the rest of the time, and then when she feels comfortable, reducing her dose by half on another night in the week, though not a night just after or just before the night she's already taking a reduced dose, so she won't worry it's too much; and if she doesn't sleep so well the nights she takes a reduced dose at first, she'll probably at least get a normal night's sleep the next night, so that'll probably reassure her.
"But she can reduce her dose for two or more nights in a row after a while, till in the end she's not taking any. When she's reduced her dose by half on all the nights of the week, she could start gradually reducing them by half again, in the same way she did before, first on one night, then on two nights of the week, spaced apart, then on three, and so on, till she's taking half a pill on every night of the week. And she could carry on like that till when she's only taking half a pill a night, she could start going some nights not taking any, and build it up till she doesn't take any at all.
"If she's taking more than one kind of sleeping pill at the same time, she could try coming off one first and then the other."
One student said, "I'm beginning to get brainache! I thought we'd finished working, but I'm beginning to feel as if I'm in a maths lesson!
"Mind you, it reminds me of a joke I found on the Internet: This man had insomnia and he was desperate to get more sleep, so he went to his doctor, who prescribed him this new pill. He tried it, and got a really refreshing sleep! He even woke up before his alarm clock went off, feeling better than he had in ages. He enjoyed a nice relaxed breakfast and went into work.
"He cheerfully said to his boss, 'Boss! That new pill I was given works fantastically well!'
"His boss said, 'I'm glad to hear that, but where were you yesterday?'"
The students giggled.
Then one grinned and said, "Hey, just imagine if there was an alarm clock that didn't just Ring to wake you up, but if you didn't get up the minute it went off, It would fly up into the air, and big hooks would spring out of the sides and it would fly over to you and pull your covers off! And then just imagine if it would bellow in this deep loud electronic voice, 'Hurry up and get out of bed, you lazy toad, or I'll land on your head!'
"And imagine if you still didn't get up some days, so it did land on your head, and it would be really really cold!"
The students chuckled, and one said, "You could give one to an enemy of yours as a birthday present. Imagine if it looked just like an ordinary alarm clock! Wouldn't they be scared the first time it did things like that!"
They laughed.
One said, "Yes, and imagine if another thing it would sometimes do was to threaten to pull all your clothes out of your wardrobe and drop them all on the floor if you didn't get up quick, and open the windows so you got cold; and if you didn't jump out of bed, it would do those things!"
They all giggled again. One said, "Oh, what a scary alarm clock that would be!"
When the laughter died down, the student who'd been talking about his mum's problem with sleeping pills, Graham, said, "Becky, do you have any more advice you could give my mum?"
Becky said, "Well, if your mum finds she gets insomnia again after she comes off the sleeping pills, it is just possible she could have something physically wrong that's stopping her getting to sleep. But some things have simple solutions. I read that certain mineral and vitamin deficiencies can have a bad effect on sleep quality, like folic acid and deficiencies of the other B vitamins. And calcium and magnesium deficiency can affect sleep badly too. So it might be worth her asking a doctor for blood tests to test for deficiencies in those things if her sleep doesn't improve for a while, or she could at least eat more foods with them in, like cheese, meat, eggs, milk and broccoli. "
Graham said, "That's interesting. Thanks. I'll tell her all the things you've told me ... provided I can remember them!"
Another student asked, "Do you know what caused your mum's sleeping problems in the first place?"
Graham said, "I think she was going through a stressful time a while ago and couldn't get to sleep because she was worrying about it. But even when things got better, she found she still couldn't sleep, and that stressed her out, so she got put on sleeping tablets."
He asked Becky if she had any more advice she could pass on.
Becky said, "Yes. one thing that might reassure your mum is that one book I've read says that some people think they're going short of sleep if they have less than seven or eight hours, so they worry about that and it keeps them awake, but actually, as long as people have about five and a half hours, they won't get seriously sleep-deprived, so they don't have to worry about being too bad at things the next day. I mean, obviously it's better to have more than that, but the book says it's not essential. Certainly not every night. It says people have been studied for months and months who were only getting about that amount, and they functioned just as well as normal, even when they had to do demanding things like study hard. And apparently a lot of people with insomnia still tend to get about that amount. So if your mum finds herself worrying about not getting enough sleep, maybe she could try to remember that. She'll probably be allright if she just builds up to getting the recommended amount gradually.
"And the book says that if someone doesn't get much sleep one night, their brain will often do its best to make up for it the next night by getting the person off to sleep more easily, and a higher percentage than normal of that sleep will be the deep sleep the body most needs, and dreaming sleep. So even if the person doesn't sleep any more hours than normal, their sleep will likely be deeper so the body will be more refreshed afterwards."
The student who'd told the joke about the new sleeping pill said, "One problem with not sleeping for many hours though is that you'll worry you'll fall asleep the next day, maybe in the middle of something important! Mind you, that reminds me of another joke I read. It said:
"If someone falls asleep in a meeting, have everyone else leave the room. Then gather a group of complete strangers you find in the street, and get them to sit around the sleeping person till they wake up. Then get one of them to say to them, 'I have to tell you, your plan is very, very risky. However, you've given us no choice but to try it. I only hope, for your sake, that you know what you're getting yourself into.' Then they should file quietly out of the room."
The other students giggled. One said, "Corr, wouldn't that be worrying!"
When the merriment died down, Becky said to Graham, "Talking about worrying, I don't know how much your mum worries about things, but if she starts worrying about not being able to get to sleep once she starts reducing her dose of pills, she might find it easier if she starts trying to remind herself that things might not be as bad as all that, by deliberately thinking reassuring things, which she could even write down in a list that she keeps by her bed, so she can remind herself of the thoughts every time she goes to bed.
"For example, if she sometimes thinks stressful thoughts like, 'Oh no, it's coming up to bedtime! I know I'm going to take ages to get to sleep and then be in a bad mood tomorrow because of it! It's going to be hard to get through the day because of it! There's no way I'm going to manage well without sleeping pills!', she could try calming herself down by deliberately thinking thoughts that remind her that things might not be as bad as that at all.
"The more she thinks stressful thoughts, the more stressed she'll feel; and the more worked up she feels, the harder it will be for her to get to sleep. Stressful thoughts can even increase people's blood pressure and heart rate, and make the muscles more tense, and make breathing faster, and increase the brain's activity; and most of those things can stop a person getting to sleep. People probably often don't realise that it's partly the way they keep on thinking their own thoughts that's causing their problems. But if your mum calms herself down with reassuring thoughts, those processes will reverse a bit so sleeping will probably get easier."
One student said with a grin, "Hey, I bet our exams did things like that to us then! I wonder if that means that if we'd tried to calm ourselves down, we might have fallen asleep in them!"
The others laughed, and Becky said with a grin, "I very much doubt that falling asleep would have got That easy!"
Another student said, "You know, I remember a funny saying I heard: 'Those who say they've just slept like a baby obviously don't have one!'
"Hey Graham! Maybe if you remind your mum of how much sleep deprivation she got when she was looking after you when you were a baby, she'll think that any sleep deprivation she gets now isn't nearly so bad by comparison, so that might make her feel calmer."
The other students giggled. Graham smiled, but said sarcastically, "Thanks!"
Becky said, "You never know, I suppose! Anyway, the thing I was saying about having stressful thoughts about not sleeping goes for other stressful thoughts your mum has too, during the day as well as at night. When people are stressed, they can think things that blow all kinds of things out of proportion; it's just human nature. But if she asks herself whether any thoughts she has like that are really true or whether there's another less bothersome way to look at things every time she notices she's having stressful thoughts, it might help.
"Also, if she thinks gloomy thoughts when she wakes up like, 'I've had a lousy night; I'm bound to not be at my best today!', that'll put her in a bad mood, so that in itself will make her feel bad during the day. Then she might think it's her bad sleep doing it.
"So if she notices herself having thoughts that are stressing her out, she could try thinking things like:
"'I always get to sleep sooner or later.
I don't need as much sleep as I thought I did anyway.
As I get more practice at not stressing about it, my sleep will likely get better and better by itself.
As long as I get about five and a half hours' sleep, I'll be getting enough to function on. And I'm probably getting more sleep than I think.
If I do feel bad the next day, it won't just be because I didn't sleep well.
I've survived nights of bad sleep before, so I can almost certainly do it again.
If I don't sleep well one night, I'm likely to sleep better the next night because my body will want to sleep more deeply to make up for it, so even if I only sleep the same number of hours as usual, I'll likely be sleeping better.
There's no evidence that insomnia causes health problems. Some people just don't need as much sleep as other people do. The worst thing that'll probably happen if I don't sleep well is that I'll be in a bad mood the next day.
Even if I feel alert if I wake up in the middle of the night, drowsiness might still quickly make me sleepy again.
Even if I feel groggy in the morning, I'll probably feel better later in the day.
The more optimistic I feel about my sleep, the more relaxed I'll likely be about it, so the better it'll probably be, since it's easier to fall asleep when we're feeling relaxed. Other people have found that, so there's a good chance I will.'
"Another thing your mum can remind herself of is that if there were times when she lost sleep because of something she was enjoying doing, such as staying up on holiday, she probably didn't feel bad the next day; she might well have felt full of energy, ready to do whatever enjoyable thing she had planned for that day. So that'll mean she can tell it isn't lack of sleep in itself that puts her in a bad mood the next day, at least in the short term.
"Mind you, driving the day after a night with not much sleep's probably riskier.
"But another reason your mum might not have to worry as much as she maybe thinks she does is that it's been found that people with insomnia often underestimate the amount of sleep they get, and over-estimate the time it takes them to get to sleep and the amount they're awake during the night. That's partly because sometimes you can be sleeping lightly but not really registering the fact that you're sleeping. I think it's the kind of sleep where if it happens during the day when there are people around, you might hear their voices but not understand a word they're saying, but in your drowsy state you assume you're awake. I've never knowingly had that kind of sleep during the day, but my Auntie Diana has. That kind of sleep increases as you get older, and you get less deep sleep. It's just natural. ... I'm not saying my auntie Diana's old, by the way! But at night, people can be having that kind of sleep but think they're awake. So people often don't need to worry about increasing their sleep as much as they think they do, it seems."
One student said, "That reminds me of a funny story I read in one of our course textbooks. There was a man who was always worrying about his insomnia and telling other people about it. He wore earplugs to keep out noise, and sometimes even took illegal drugs to help him sleep, because he was so worried about not getting enough.
"But one night, he shared a room with an Oxford professor. The next morning, he complained to the professor about how he hadn't slept a wink the night before. But actually it was the professor who hadn't slept a wink, because he'd been kept awake by the man's snoring!"
The students grinned.
Becky said, "That's interesting. Another reason a lot of people with insomnia think they get less sleep than they really do is that when you're not enjoying yourself, time can seem to drag on, whereas if you are, it can seem to go much faster. So when it's dragging, you can feel as if you've been awake for much longer than you really have.
"So whenever your mum starts worrying that she isn't getting enough sleep, Graham, she could try reminding herself of that.
"And if she does feel groggy some days, it isn't necessarily insomnia causing it. It could be medications - even sleeping pills that are taking a while to leave the system; or it could be an infection, or a heavy meal, or not enough food, or a number of other things. So she could maybe remind herself of that sometimes too.
"And she could try and think of her own reassuring and uplifting things to think, and write all those things, along with any of the other reassuring things I mentioned that she likes, down on a list, and read it every night before she goes to bed. Then if she finds herself stressing herself out with the worries she's having about not being able to get to sleep, she could try remembering all the thoughts that might put her mind at rest. Or she could read the list in the night if she realises she's stressing herself out with her thoughts and can't remember the reassuring ones.
"It's common for older people to want less and less sleep as they grow older anyway, so if she can't sleep, it might just be that her body doesn't need so much any more. She could try to relax about it and see if she feels just as good the next day as she would have done with more sleep.
"If your mum smokes, it might be best if she tries to give up, or at least tries not to smoke in the few hours before she goes to bed, because nicotine's a stimulant that can keep people awake; and also if they've got a bit of a smoker's cough, that can do it too."
"What about chocolate?" one student asked.
Becky said, "That's got caffeine in it, so it's probably best for people to avoid that just before bedtime too."
The student who'd just asked said with a smile, "That's a shame! Hey imagine if someone had such a bad chocolate craving they hated going without it at night, and kept some beside their bed, and then as soon as they woke up in the morning, they just had to have some! And then imagine if they just had to have more so they would have it with their breakfast; and they'd like having bacon and eggs for breakfast, so they'd always have bacon, eggs and chocolate! On the same plate!"
They giggled, and then another one said, "Yeah! And then imagine if they felt like having chocolate every time they thought of food throughout the day, so for dinner, they'd have chicken pie and chocolate, or a baked potato, cheese and chocolate, or fish cakes, carrots, peas and chocolate, and all kinds of strange mixtures like that!"
They laughed.
Then Graham said, "Well, I don't think my mum's in danger of developing a rampant chocolate habit! Becky, have you got any more advice I could pass on? I hope I'm going to remember all this!"
Becky said, "I've got some. One thing is that I know it sounds obvious, but if there's anything she can do to make the room a more comfortable place to sleep, it would be worth doing, such as getting heavier curtains to block out light if any comes in, and maybe getting some kind of ear plugs if she's disturbed by noise, or if possible, finding some other way to make it quieter, like, ... I dunno, making your dad sleep on the sofa downstairs if he snores.
"Actually, I read that some people aren't disturbed by noise so much if they have some device that makes continuous white noise like a fan, that'll keep whirring all night with no unexpected noises, hopefully, which might drown out irritating noises that come and go that can make people jerk awake when they happen. Or some people find a recording of waves on the shore or rain helps. They find them relaxing, so they're not distracting like some noises.
"Some people like to listen to music to relax them when they go to bed, but anyone who tries it should make sure it turns itself off after about three quarters of an hour, because even if it relaxes them at first, it might mean they're more likely to wake up later in the night, especially because it might stop them drifting into the deepest sleep; and then they might feel more alert because of it, so it might be harder to sleep.
"And if your mum's bed's uncomfortable for some reason, or not big enough for her to stretch out in as much as she'd like to, it might be worth her thinking about getting a new one, or trying other things out to make it more comfortable. It's best if the mattress is neither too hard or too soft, and if it doesn't sag too much, since if it does it might mean she doesn't get neck or back support in some positions.
"And it'll help too if her bedroom isn't too hot or too cold, if possible. Apparently some people's sleep isn't so good in a warm room, so keeping bedrooms cool at night might help."
One student said, "I often keep a window open at night because of that. But the other night it was really windy, and I kept drifting off to sleep, only to be jerked awake by these gusts of wind! I suppose I should have shut my window really, but I didn't feel like getting out of bed because it was cold!"
The students smiled, and one said, "Oh well, it could have been worse. At least it was only the wind outside keeping you awake; just think how much worse it might have been if your body was creating the wind itself!"
The students giggled, and the one who'd been kept awake by the wind grinned and said, "OY!!"
Then another one smiled and said, "Yeah! Just imagine if someone couldn't get to sleep because they kept waking themselves up with their own wind, and then they'd just drifted off when there was a big thunder-clap outside and it jerked them awake, and they thought they must have made the noise themselves, and they thought, 'Gosh! I must never, never eat baked beans that close to bedtime again!!'"
They all laughed.
When the laughter died down, Becky said, "Anyway Graham, another thing is that sometimes drugs can disturb sleep, so if your mum's on any medication for anything, besides sleeping pills, Maybe she could find out whether any of the side effects of it have anything to do with poor sleep, and if one or more do, maybe she could ask her doctor if she can be put on another kind of medication that does a similar thing instead. Some drugs even contain caffeine. Mind you, sometimes taking the prescription or over-the-counter drugs at a different time of day helps.
"If she's got a problem that disturbs her sleep because it causes her pain or makes it harder for her to breathe, or makes her cough a lot or keep wanting to get up to go to the loo, or it makes her feel agitated, like an overactive thyroid, and that kind of thing, maybe a doctor could recommend some kind of treatment for it, or change the treatment she's on if it isn't working well. Sometimes there's a choice of quite a few drugs a doctor could prescribe that do the same thing."
Graham said, "I don't think she's got a problem like that, but I'll ask."
Becky said, "Well another thing is that it'll hopefully help her sleep if she does things to gradually wind down before she goes to bed, instead of getting into bed and hoping she'll go from wakefulness to sleep quickly. So maybe in the hour before bedtime, she could do things she finds relaxing, maybe listening to soothing music, and whatever else makes her feel calmer. And she could try to avoid anything that'll make her feel more stressed or alert.
"I think some people find a hot bath an hour or so before bed helps. Also, if she can think of more interesting things to do in the day, so her brain feels like it's had a bit of a work-out by the end of it, it might be more likely to want to sleep.
"She might need to have Extra relaxation time before she goes to bed on days that've been particularly stressful; not surprisingly, people with insomnia tend to have worse nights' sleep after particularly stressful days.
"If your mum finds herself in bed, worrying about not being able to get to sleep for a while, it might help sleep come if she gets up and reads something boring or relaxing, or so complex it'll give her brainache, or if she does something else soothing or boring, till she begins to feel drowsy, if she can think of anything like that.
"Then if she recognises the first signs of drowsiness, like reading a line in a book a few times but not being able to take it in, eyelids closing, yawning, head nodding and that kind of thing, she could take those as signs to get up and go back to bed."
"It might be a bit too late by then," said another student. "I mean, sometimes I get drowsy during the day, and I know getting up and going for a walk would help perk me up a bit, but I find I just can't be bothered because I'm too sleepy! And then I can just flop off to sleep, right there where I am! I can't even be bothered to go to bed!"
Another student sniggered and said, "What, you mean you can flop off to sleep wherever you are, so it might be in lecture theatres and discussion classes, or when you're eating dinner? Wow, imagine your head plopping forward into a bowl of soup, and a bit of soup splashing right up and hitting the ceiling!"
The students smiled, and one said, "Actually, I did something like that once. Well I didn't go to sleep and put my head in it, but I opened a tin of sardines and dropped them into something I was making for dinner that had a lot of water in it. A bit of the water splashed right up onto the ceiling! I realised it would have been better to have put the sardines in first before the water! And the sardines were in tomato sauce, so there were red stains on the ceiling! It might have looked a bit spooky to anyone who came in!"
They all giggled.
The student who'd been talking about falling asleep during the day said, "I wasn't saying I've ever fallen asleep in my dinner."
Another one grinned and said, "just in lectures and other classes then? Well don't worry; I bet we've all done that!"
They giggled again.
The one who'd mentioned falling asleep grinned and joked, "No, I've mainly been falling asleep when I've been trying to write essays! What I really need is someone to be with me, just to wake me up and perk me up with a cup of tea when I doze off! I wouldn't want them for any other purpose, just for that. Yeah, I know it wouldn't be much of a life for them, just sitting silently in the corner for days on end till I needed them to give me a few minutes of tea therapy, and after that just sitting there pretending not to exist till the next time, but it would be really nice to have someone who was willing to do that!"
They giggled, and one said, "What you really need is a robot!"
The one wanting tea therapy said, "Yeah, that would be a good idea! Then they could do my washing-up too, and make my dinner, ... and read my mind so they knew what I wanted for dinner each day!"
The students laughed, and one said, "I think that kind of robot might be a few years off being invented yet!"
Graham said, "If my mum had a robot like that, and she really did end up getting so sleepy after she'd gone into another room that she couldn't be bothered to move after she'd read something boring to send herself to sleep, maybe it could wheel her bed into the room where she was and stop it just next to her, saying, 'Your bed, Madam!'"
Then he got serious and said, "Hey Becky, have you got any more advice you could give me to pass on to my mum?"
Becky said, "Maybe. if she still can't get to sleep after doing something boring or complicated, she could maybe try one of the relaxation techniques some psychologists have made up. I don't know how well it would work, but here's one they recommend. As well as relaxing people, it'll distract them a bit from worrying thoughts - and actually that's one of the reasons it might relax them:
"Your mum could try lying or sitting in a relaxed position with her eyes closed, and just imagine a feeling of relaxation spreading all over her, perhaps from her head to her feet, or whatever she likes. If she lets her arms and legs go limp, and gently lets go of any tension in her facial muscles, it'll help the process along.
"Then she could try really slowing down her breathing, because when people are stressed, they tend to take fast shallow breaths and that helps work the body up for action. If she wants to do the opposite so sleep comes more easily, deliberately slowing the breathing right down helps. When she's breathing in and out in a very leisurely way, she could maybe think of a word that she keeps repeating to herself, like 'relax', or whatever she likes, or a peaceful image, like her favourite place or somewhere she'd love to be, and she could bring it to mind. That'll hopefully make her feel calmer and as if she's enjoying herself more, as well as crowding out worrying thoughts from her mind. That's the idea anyway. Tell her to try to keep it in mind for some time.
"Tell her not to worry about whether she's actually relaxing; just worrying about it or trying to make an effort to do it will stop her relaxing. It's best to just let it happen at its own pace, not actually trying to make it happen, just patiently waiting while it does. If stressful thoughts come to her mind, it's best if she just imagines them flowing peacefully away and then returns her attention to what she's trying to imagine or the word she's saying. She could try that for some time and see what happens.
"It might be hard at first for her to stop other thoughts intruding into her mind; I think most people find that. But with practice, they might well be easier and easier to disregard. Tell her not to worry if they take a while to go; tell her to just imagine them gently floating away as she returns her mind to the nice image she's been thinking of or the word she keeps saying."
One student said, "You know, I'm a bit skeptical about whether there's really any point in these relaxation techniques; I mean, I'm finding lounging around on the grass nice and relaxing. I bet something like that would work just as well."
All the students understood what she was saying, but one grinned mischievously and joked, "Maybe that's really what Graham's mum needs to do then; maybe if she picks a load of grass and puts it in her bed and lounges around on that, she'll get to sleep more easily, without trying a relaxation technique. Or is it that the particular grass You're lying on has specially relaxing qualities, do you think, so maybe Graham should pick it all and take it home in a bag and give it to her?"
The students giggled, and the one who'd said lounging on the grass was relaxing said good-naturedly, "Don't be daft!"
Another one grinned and said, "It is nice lying around on grass though, especially if it's long! Actually, I used to have rabbits, and I used to enjoy sitting on the grass picking a load of weeds for them to eat, and they used to smell really nice when they'd just been picked - something like a mixture of earth and greenery. ... I know you wouldn't have thought earth smells nice, but it does really! In fact, I think I'd love an earth perfume if it smelled like that!
"But anyway, I was just thinking, maybe you could pick a few bagfuls of weeds, Graham, and take them home, and your mum could put them in her bed and lie on those!"
The students burst out laughing.
Another one joked, "Yeah, or maybe she could try lying on the grass while it's still in the ground. ... I suppose it might be quite cold at night, but maybe then she'd think her bed was more comforting than she does now when she got back in it! I mean, think about the comparison! Hey imagine if some people insisted that lying on the grass was the way to relax when you want to go to sleep, and some people were so convinced, they went out at night in the winter and tried to get to sleep on the grass! I bet they couldn't relax then! And I bet the relaxation technique You're recommending wouldn't help them then, Becky, however long they did it for!"
The students chuckled. Becky grinned and said, "No, I don't think even the maddest psychologist's ever suggested it's a remedy against freezing to death! It might be useful during the day sometimes though, say if you're waiting for a train, and it's late, and you're feeling irritated. I mean, you're not going to be able to make it come quicker, no matter how irritated you get, so you may as well do something to relax, so you'll at least feel better while you have to wait."
One student grinned and said, "Or you could just buy a chocolate bar or a pasty or something; that would probably work just as well."
Becky said, "Yeah, but it'll be a lot more calories!"
They all grinned.
Then one of them said seriously, "Some people really do get annoyed though, don't they! A train driver once told me this horrible man assaulted him at one station. Maybe the train was late and he blamed the driver or something! He could probably have done with doing a few relaxation techniques! It might have calmed him down a bit before he did something stupid like that! Not that he'd have been interested in doing any, probably. But I bet almost all the reasons trains are late don't even have anything to do with the drivers!"
"I wonder what the main cause really is?" said one student.
Becky said with a grin, "I dunno. I always blame my uncle Steven. He works for the railways."
"What does he do?" asked one student.
Becky said, "I'm not sure really; something to do with designing bits of railway track and deciding where to put them. He's a civil engineer-type thing."
One student said with a grin, "I suppose people have to be careful to stay on the right side of him then, or he might decide to put bits of railway track right through their house! Or maybe over the top of it. Imagine it! 'Sorry sir, but you don't need to worry; this railway won't be going Through your house, just over your roof. Yes, it'll be very noisy, but you'll be surprised how quickly you get used to it; you'll probably be sleeping right through the sounds of trains thundering overhead in no time!'"
They all grinned.
Then one joked, "Hey Graham, maybe you've been thinking all this time that your mum needs a quiet house to go to sleep, when really what might help her is a load of trains going by right outside the window! Or donkeys, or horses, or elephants maybe!"
They all giggled. But then Becky said almost seriously, "Actually, that reminds me: When my uncle Steven's little boy was born, he screeched his head off the whole of the first night, ... well, maybe he didn't Quite screech it Off, since it's still there. But anyway, my uncle Steven got annoyed. But a few weeks later, he found out that his little boy went to sleep much more easily if there was noise going on around him.
"I wonder if a lot of babies are like that. When you think about it, it must be scary for them to have spent as long as they can remember in a little warm cosy place where they can hear noise all the time, like their mum's heartbeat and her voice and music and things filtering in from outside. And then they come out into what must seem this huge open space, and they're expected to go to sleep in total silence ... apart from their yelling. So maybe it's no wonder they get upset. Maybe for the first few days at least, till they get used to living in the world outside their mum, they'd be happier going to sleep with quiet music or something on in the background, maybe music their mum's played in the last few weeks of her pregnancy that they'll have already heard from inside her - - although it probably sounds different in there, since then it'll be accompanied by her heartbeat and maybe her stomach gurgling as it digests things, or whatever makes noises in there. But babies might be pleased to hear it more clearly."
One student said, "Actually, that reminds me: I once read something on the Internet where a man said he used to sing to his baby while she was still in her mum; he used to put his face up to his wife's tummy every night and sing this song. Then not long after his baby daughter was born, his wife was giving her a bath, and she was crying. The man started singing this song he'd sung her for months every night with his face next to his wife's stomach, and immediately she stopped crying and cheered right up! They got before-and-after photos."
The students all thought that was cute and had a think about the idea.
When they got up to go, Graham thanked Becky for the advice she'd given him about how his mum might start finding it easier to get to sleep, and said she'd given him a lot to think about.
He passed on her advice to his mum, and she started feeling more optimistic about coming off sleeping pills and getting a good night's sleep. After a while she managed to do both. She told Graham to email Becky and tell her she was grateful to have got her advice.
The student who'd been worrying about his sleep patterns getting messed up soon got them sorted out too.
Becky was pleased.
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